LIFEE </3

Haven't been feeling the best these days, everything is an absolute mess. But I'm trying i promise. I want to grow the hell up and get everything together. I want to stop worrying about everything and leave everything to Allah. But i don't know exactly how to. I have messed my life up myself. there's a lot to take in. Nobody really cares what am doing and how am feeling. I feel like everyone just completely lost their interest in me. For obvious reasons. IM A MESS!! But i want to really become a better version of me. and no one is ready to help me or hear me out. Am so broke. cant sleep well at nights. i have been sleeping all night. And there's just so many regrets. I just cannot rn. I want to change please. I want to start my own business. Both photography and an online page. But am also so scared if that's going to work out or not but i also have no other or even better option. I want to manifest but what exactly? Well lets list some stuff down and i will work on that from now on. And when i look back i want to be able to say that am so proud of myself. I'm going to remember everyone who didn't give up on me. and who stayed with the worst version of me. because i know what am capable of and who the hell i am!! :) IM ONE OF A KIND AND PEOPLE ARE LUCKY TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE ME IN THEIR LIFE PERIODTTT!! 1.Find my way back to deen. 2.Create a stronger and better relation with Allah. 3.Help and love my parents. being nice to them i need to work on that. i need to control, i need to focus. and i need to pray as much as i can . 4.i need to rely on Allah and Allah only. 5.Cry in front of Allah only 6.I have to put my 100% in to it and left everything else in Allah's hand. 7. Staying away from everything and everyone that lets me down even if it seems impossible. I need to do that for myself. 8. Then focus on my goals. Buy my camera. and start my own online page on insta. and will leave everything in Allah's hand. 9. FOCUSS FOCUSS ON MY GOALS AND GIVE MY PARENTS THE LIFE THEY DESREVE!!!!! I HAVE ONLYY ONE YEAR TO ACHIEVE ALL THAT! NO BAD VIBES. ONLY WORKING HARD FROM NOW ON. I WILL KEEP ON TRYING.